Jeex. First day of a midwife. The ward is sterile and awful. The work environment feels like a hospital. It is a hospital. But why are we at a hospital. I don't think I want to work at a hospital. Hospitals are for sick people. Right. RIGHT? It seems like the truth. Why can't we dress up the truth a bit? Why does the obstetrics ward look like a hospital and feel like a hospital and act like a hospital. Why?
Mother crafting. I have never heard it used like that. A verb. Not a noun. Like THE mothercraft. But like, mother craft...can you change an infants nappy, bathe it, not kill it. They are tiny, tiny little beings. Just born. Their stomach is no bigger than a marble. Their entire days diet fits inside my morning coffee cup. They are just so small. And us, with our boobs and voices, and breastfeeding? Haha. Not nipple feeding. They are literally supposed to activate the whole breast. I don't feel an immediate connection to this work. I thought it would feel different. Friendlier somehow. This environment makes people seem so foreign. Like they aren't meant to be there. And we facilitate that. With our uniforms and our professional dispositions. I wanted it to be like home. Like with my mum. Her warmth and care, her expertise. I miss home. I miss mum.
I get the desire for home births. Get me out of here!
Mother crafting. I have never heard it used like that. A verb. Not a noun. Like THE mothercraft. But like, mother craft...can you change an infants nappy, bathe it, not kill it. They are tiny, tiny little beings. Just born. Their stomach is no bigger than a marble. Their entire days diet fits inside my morning coffee cup. They are just so small. And us, with our boobs and voices, and breastfeeding? Haha. Not nipple feeding. They are literally supposed to activate the whole breast. I don't feel an immediate connection to this work. I thought it would feel different. Friendlier somehow. This environment makes people seem so foreign. Like they aren't meant to be there. And we facilitate that. With our uniforms and our professional dispositions. I wanted it to be like home. Like with my mum. Her warmth and care, her expertise. I miss home. I miss mum.
I get the desire for home births. Get me out of here!