Wow. Today whizzed by. I was up early for my 7am shift at the hospital. I arrived on time. I took two daytime cold pills just to be sure I would make it through the day. It's a bit silly being sick around sick people but I am confident I am past the contagious phase. This time of year though...everyone's coming down with something. It's winter @ 20 degrees. But it is actually cold. If you know what I mean.
Mistakes. Today I made one. And then I worried about it for ages. I thought other people were talking about me. I thought I was going to get in trouble. Nothing happened. But something changed. My mind! I am used to being a capable adult and this going back to school as an adult has it's benefits (I don't mind studying!) but a big learning curve is accepting the limits of my knowledge and abilities. They are limited. And I really like being knowledgeable and capable. And being seen by others in that regard. But that is not what a workplace needs. People are not dummies, not toys...real people with real problems. I have been left looking foolish on a handful of occasions because I have operated outside of the bounds of my knowledge and experience...holding half the rope if you know what I mean. What is it to STOP, to think, to consider...should I do this? Why am I doing this? I am so scared of that question. Why am I doing this...hahaha...afraid that others will laugh, that others will condemn me for not knowing why so instead I charge ahead. All bull and horns. Respect. But think of the china! Breathe. You got this. Accept and appreciate the beginner. Respect the journey...xoxoxo nat
Mistakes. Today I made one. And then I worried about it for ages. I thought other people were talking about me. I thought I was going to get in trouble. Nothing happened. But something changed. My mind! I am used to being a capable adult and this going back to school as an adult has it's benefits (I don't mind studying!) but a big learning curve is accepting the limits of my knowledge and abilities. They are limited. And I really like being knowledgeable and capable. And being seen by others in that regard. But that is not what a workplace needs. People are not dummies, not toys...real people with real problems. I have been left looking foolish on a handful of occasions because I have operated outside of the bounds of my knowledge and experience...holding half the rope if you know what I mean. What is it to STOP, to think, to consider...should I do this? Why am I doing this? I am so scared of that question. Why am I doing this...hahaha...afraid that others will laugh, that others will condemn me for not knowing why so instead I charge ahead. All bull and horns. Respect. But think of the china! Breathe. You got this. Accept and appreciate the beginner. Respect the journey...xoxoxo nat